


Different

by zaynscheekbones (orphan_account)



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Racism, im sorry about this i might not even carry it on i just??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-04
Updated: 2013-10-04
Packaged: 2017-12-28 10:04:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/990740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/zaynscheekbones
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He's the odd one out in the band. He's the one with a name that makes people whisper behind his back. He's the one with a skin colour that inspires jokes about his ethnicity. He's the one following a religion the western world is afraid of. He's the one called a terrorist.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Different

Different.

Exotic.

Mysterious.

Not white.

He's the odd one out in the band. He's the one with a name that makes people whisper behind his back. He's the one with a skin colour that inspires jokes about his ethnicity. He's the one following a religion the western world is afraid of. He's the one called a terrorist.

He's not an idiot, he's heard all the "it will get better" shit. His mum used to say that to him when he came home from school crying. It didn't get better, it isn't getting better. 

After the London bombings his family's house was almost burnt to the ground. He had to move schools three times, had to put up with people screaming that he'd killed their loved one in public. He was thirteen.

Stupidly he thought that was the worst it could get. Then he joined one direction. He didn't expect this fame, didn't want this fame. Now he's expected to be a role model to muslims around the world but not be too muslim because white people don't like it when you're not white but he still has to be different and bring the 'exotic' edge to the band and there are so many conflicting messages and he doesn't want this shouldn't have to deal with this because he's only 20 fucking years old but he has people accusing him of boy band ji-fucking-had and calling him a terrorist and making jokes about him being fucking mexican for fucks sake and muslims themselves are criticising him for showing them in a negative light and he doesn't want any of this and oh god 

And that's how Liam found him. Having a breakdown. In a toilet. How classy. How dignifying. Great.

"Zayn you ok? You've been in there for a long time mate" Liam says, concern dripping into his voice.

Zayn has two options; create an excuse for being in here for god knows how long, or tell Liam the truth. But really it's only one option, because telling Liam will lead to a "deep, meaningful, emotional talk" that as far as Zayn's concerned should only happen when your blood alcohol content is off the charts. So he makes up an excuse, joins the boys for dinner, acts like everything's fine. Because hey, it is.

That night the thoughts come rushing back. He tries to block the thoughts out, but not even an army of french revolutionaries could create a barricade strong enough to stop these thoughts surfacing. He won't be home for Eid this year, won't even be able to tweet about it after what happened last year. His culture is slowly slipping away from him but not fast enough apparently, according to the slurs that decorate his twitter. 

Smoking has become his saviour in recent weeks. The familiar buzz of nicotine coursing through his blood, the thick smoke filling his lungs, providing a small, but important, escape. 

And that's how Liam found him for the second time that day. Chain smoking out of the tour bus window. Having a breakdown.

This time Liam doesn't speak, just rests his head on Zayn's. After a while Zayn breaks the silence.

"I hate it. I hate this."

"I know" Liam says. He doesn't. Zayn just laughs. "Ok, then tell me"


End file.
